The Unbearable Uncomfortableness of Being

So in 1994, after 5 years of not speaking to my dad, I decided to reconnect with him. I have no idea why, but that story is for another blog entry.

When I reentered my dad's life, I regrettably, went to work with him. At the time he was a manager at a real estate office and I was a licensed Realtor, so there you have it. As a young man desperately seeking my psychopath father's approval, it seemed like the right thing to do; amazingly enough, it turns out it wasn't.

My dad was in one of his transition phases of his life. This means he was living in the house that his soon-to-be ex-wife USED to own with her husband before she met my father and wisely left her spouse for him. He was, as usual, living in the house alone, because he had left his wife. When this event happens, when my dad leaves you, whether you're his wife or girlfriend, the first thing you realize is that you don't get to keep the house...even if you owned it first. First he gets his name on the deed, then he mortgages it up to the limit, often OVER the limit and who wants to be the one to get "the house" in the divorce settlement if it has 125% of it's value mortgaged? My dad, that's who, and he always stayed in it until the people showed up from the bank to physically move him out.  It must be a horrible feeling realizing that the man you thought you loved is actually a conman in for the long con, and you were little more than a 'mark'. 

Oddly enough, this time, my dad didn't seem to have a new woman in his life yet, not a 'mark' at least. He had a couple of close friends though, one of them was a younger guy that was a bookie/collector who loved to fight and one was a 40-year old woman who seemed to be a grifter just like my dad. Most importantly, both of these close friends believed my dad's current line of bullshit without question. That is where the real problems lies with my dad and his family; if we're around, we MIGHT, intentionally or accidentally, spill the beans about my dad's real past and 'poof', suddenly his mystique and his power over his friends would be gone. Awesomely, I have a big mouth, that's why he loves me hanging out with his pals so much :)

So my dad's friend friend works at the real estate office too, I'm going to call her Edith (because it's sexy). She has a normal 9 to 5 job, but during the evening she tries hard to earn extra money as a Realtor and of course she gets to hang out with her friends. I become a fringe member of this group of friends, I seldom hang out with them without my dad, he wouldn't really allow that...at least not at first. 

Eventually I begin marketing with Edith. We make pamphlets and fliers and go out on occasion and blanket neighborhoods with our names, trying to drum up listings. We get along, she's almost twice my age, I'm 22/23 at the time and she's 41/42 (my memory sucks when it comes to exact dates), but she's a goof off kid at heart and thin, pretty and has a filthy mouth too, which is pretty cool. 

One afternoon after passing out fliers, she decides we're going to hang out. This is odd because we never just "hang out", we always have some work related stuff to do, this probably isn't a good idea. She decides she's going to come over to my house and we're going to watch a movie.

So she comes over. We put on a movie, I have no fucking idea what movie. We both sit down, on my couch, opposite ends of my huge couch, but clearly we're both on my couch. The movie goes on, she asks for a blanket. I give her a blanket, all the way down on the other end of the couch which started out being about 30 feet long but now feels to be shortening itself as each minutes passes. The movie goes on. Our toes touch. She doesn't acknowledge it. I don't acknowledge it. They stay touched. The movie goes on. Suddenly, she announces she should go and laughs an uncomfortable laugh. Moments later we are feverishly making out with each other, me on top of her on that tiny couch, as if we're both sixteen years old. Tongues in mouths, hands on (fake) tits, mouths on necks, we are slowly becoming the beast with two backs...but then it stops as suddenly as it began. 

She jumps up, gets her clothes in order the best she can as she darts towards the front door, she HAS to leave, she just has too. I pull the traditional guy move and ask why while engaging her in more heating making out with her against the wall next to the front door....it gets heated again against that wall and then, she slips out the front door, she is gone, she doesn't look back as she says over and over "I gotta go".

I am left standing there with a rock hard cock and a pit in my stomach. This was a huge mistake, this was a huge mistake and I didn't even cum. Fuck. This isn't going to end well (aside from the part where I jerked off, that ended splendidly).

The next time I see Edith, and I hate to be so trite, but it was if nothing ever happened and believe me when I tell you I wasn't going to be the one to suggest we discuss what happened. It just went away. What didn't go away was Edith or my dad, in fact, soon afterwards Edith won a lawsuit she had been involved in for the past 5 years. When she won the suit, she got a settlement. When she got the cash settlement, she bought a house. When she bought a house, well, lets just say my dad needed a place to stay since he had been recently, forcibly, evicted.

It wasn't long before Edith and my dad were officially "Edith and My Dad". She stayed with him for many, many years. In fact, she lasted long enough to be close friends with my wife and even long enough that my first child called her grandma Edith. All the time Edith and I had that thing in own past together, just sitting there. Eventually, I stopped talking to my dad again and apparently not long after, my dad carried out his standard operating procedure and Edith lost her house to my dad, and soon after vanished from my dad's life all together.

The moral of the story is; It's a weird thing knowing you've been sexual with a woman your dad considers his wife and that you children call grandma. 

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