Two years ago I started a charity. I did this because my wife and I felt like there was a sense of community we were missing out on, a community normally associated with religion. We're Atheists, and we know a lot of other like minded folks, so we considered starting something along the lines of a church congregation for those people who wouldn't be caught dead in a place of worship.
We called it The Congregation of Every 1.
Quickly the original intent of this shifted to charity work. The charity work we began was directed at the massive homeless population within the city of Detroit. Once we did this, several of our friends and acquaintances stepped up to help out. The irony? Those people who stepped up to help were Christians. Catholics, Evangelicals, Methodists and others. We resided ourselves to the fact that the Congregation of Every 1 would be just that, a congregation of every denomination or no denomination. We started calling it "a non religious charity organization", I emphasized the fact that the founders were Atheist. We held fast to the concept that our charity would not have "a location", our overhead would be negligible and we were all doing this because we wanted to help other people and NOT for any spiritual reward.
The charity grew. Exponentially. We started making and delivering our Survival Packs for the homeless monthly. We were in non-stop charity drive mode, always soliciting donations, always collecting. Our basement became a warehouse and the location of our "packing parties". We gained our 501c3 rating from the IRS. It became a huge part of our family's lives.
The four core delivery team members were solidified (along with some rotating members) and we would go out monthly or bi-monthly to seek out the truly homeless wherever they were inside the massive city boundaries of Detroit and give them Survival Packs. We also started taking on the occasional additional efforts, animal rescues, victims of domestic violence shelters, the VA hospital, children homeless shelters, diaper drives, fresh water drives, we were and are constantly trying to help those in need.
We've come into contact with literally thousands of homeless Americans and countless other people through our efforts. We even started helping some churches with their homeless projects. I've made some friends with pastors and community organizers. I've kept an open mind. Throughout our efforts, I am often told, "Bless you!" I get a lot of, "you're doing God's work" and many, many other positive, supportive thank you type remarks that revolve around Christianity being the cause for my charitable efforts While the Christian members of our group smile and say thank you, I often have to bite my tongue. I appreciate their remarks, I just don't agree with them. I do this because I want to, it literally has nothing to do with God.
I have faith. Faith in Atheism. Faith in reality. Faith in people. Faith in scientific discovery. I do not have any spiritual or religious faith though. I simply cannot, it is not within me. I've come to believe that the same absolute internal knowing that there is no higher power is how others must feel about their faith in God. I just feel it in my bones, there is no God; I don't even need to be able to explain it, which must be exactly how the religiously faithful on the other end of this spectrum feel as well.
That brings me to reason I'm writing this, another compliment/remark/well intentioned condescending lecture I often get is "God is working through you, even if you don't believe it".
I've heard that enough that I've actually thought about it a lot. The concept that the charity work I now feel compelled to do, that feeling that compels me, THAT, is that "God"? Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD, I do not believe there is an omnipotent immortal being that created all things and continues to direct every individuals life and will reward or punish us once we die. I still think that's crazy-for-CoCo-Puffs talk; BUT is it possible that the feeling I'm feeling, is that what some people feel and assign to God? Is that what some religious people are talking about? When they say they've "found God" is it this same feeling compelling them to behave or act in a manner that they can somehow connect or reconcile to a specific religious dogma?
With that in mind, is this sudden attraction to my charity work my "calling"? If it is, does it have to be associated to any spiritual or super natural entity? I don't believe it does, I still feel like it's simply rewarding work that I enjoy doing but I am willing to concede that my feelings and actions may be the same feelings and actions that others assign to believing in God. So...that means that I can conceive of an explanation that includes admitting this thing that is driving me to carry out this charity work, is called "God" by many religious people.
So do I believe in God?
I do not believe in religion. I do not believe in Churches or Mosques or Synagogues or Temples. I do not believe in Jesus or Allah or Yahweh or Shiva. I do not believe in Heaven or Hell or even Karma.
But do I believe in God?
I can now say for certain, I have no idea.
Namaste ;)
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