It's Christmas in one week, my mom almost died a month ago, she can't drive, she doesn't have the use of one of her arms, she's constantly on mediation, always needs to see a doctor, she has no health insurance, she's 58 years old, she hasn't had a job in nearly 20 years and her husband is leaving her (divorce will be final in March), aside from me and my younger brother and her 84 year old aunt she has no one, no money saved, and quite possibly nowhere to live and I kinda' don't want to fucking bother even calling her.
I kind of want to throw the "off" switch in the section of my brain that pertained to her and move on.
My mom sucked at being a mom. Not the normal sucked either, she wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid or too smothering, she simply didn't fucking care. I was not a concern to her. She didn't raise me, she left me to fend for myself with a wolf and then went on to blame me for it, an 11 year old kid who's biggest rebellion was a mullet. The end result is I have had little or no relationship with her as an adult, she has sucked as a grandparent and even though I have continued to offer her help in every way possible, she has time and time again turned me down and opted to stick it out with her drunk of a husband. I'm so sick of typing this shit in this blog.
The last I heard he wasn't divorcing her and magically she stopped calling us once that happened, NOW apparently he IS still leaving her and today she talked to my wife for an hour, or more like LECTURED my wife on how we disappeared after the whole aneurysm event.
I have no connection to my parents. None. Zero. Seriously, when other people talk about their parents being a pain the ass, I don't relate, I don't get it and I don't understand. They're just other people, if you don't like a person, don't be friends with them, it's just that simple.
My wife is a good person, unlike me, my wife thinks we should try again, we should be humble and force our help on her, again, for the 1,100th time. It's Christmas after all. Fuck. Why? Seriously?
I now have to decide if I'm going to call my mom, and if I call what I am or am not going to say. I'm not looking for her to love me or like me or even be nice to me. I don't care. As a human I care a little, just because I know this person and I know this person has nothing else. That being said, her way of connecting with us was to call and bitch out my wife who is the only person who's ever been on her side for years and years now and I'm pissed off.
I know EVERYONE has family issues but I'd be good cutting this one off permanently and walking away and somehow I feel like it's not going to happen. I hate being in this position where I have to kowtow to a woman who will do nothing but bring me grief and emotional wreckage.
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