Going Blind

I have four children. I have a 14 year old daughter. This, in the current context, means two things; she is of the age where we have to discuss sex with her AND since she's a girl, my wife got 95% of that responsibility. I have 4 daughters, this means only 20% of ALL of the sex ed talk we'll ever have to do will fall on me, I am, in a word, relieved. As you're figuring out I was raised by my dad, around the 12 year old mark my mom existed the scene and hence my dad took over all duties in regards to all things regarding me and my brother. My dad was a liberal man and the fact I was only 12 didn't really dissuade him from talking to me like I was a 40 year old trucker...which is funny because when I was 12 he was only 30. His age comes into play here because he obviously had me when he was 18 years old and my mom was 17 years old. I was not a planned event a fact I was often reminded of by him when things weren't going right, and they OFTEN weren't going right. So, since he screwed up his life by knocking up his high school girlfriend, he was apparently going to make damn sure I did NOT do the same thing, which in itself is admirable. How he did this though was to tell me, ever since I was old enough to hear, that if I ever got a girl pregnant, I was out. I would be kicked out of his house and he would not be raising my child for me (the irony here is palpable, but that's for another blog entry). He had been telling me this well before we ever had the talk about what sex actually even was let alone how you do it and what the consequences are if you've done it properly. Needless to say, when he finally sat me down and told me that he knows I touch my little dick in the tub and that's ok, and that I may want to experiment and touch other guy's little dicks and THAT'S ok and eventually, I'm going to find a girl who will let me put my little dick inside of her pussy and it is going to feel sooooo good and that's when I know I've totally fucked up my entire life and everything I knew would be over. All this time during this heartwarming talk about my little dick and how it's going to end life as I know it, he had Penthouse Magazines with him, showing me what exactly pussy was and where I would, but should never, put my little dick. He then let me know that there was an entire box of Penthouse Magazines in the garage, and I should limit my sexual activity and the range of my little dick to the garage and this box of pussy. It was all very Norman Rockwelly and I cherish that moment to this very day. The good news is I didn't have intercourse until I was 18 years old and even then my long term girlfriend had to literally talk me into it...it lasted about 2 minutes and didn't ruin anything other than her expectations of what a real man was.